Frustrated by your non-Communication Colleagues? Think of Them as Toddlers

Over my 36 years of doing communications for non-profits, I have come to respect and admire my colleagues who manage and implement various programs.

They are smart and amazing people who find creative solutions to challenging issues such as poverty, hunger and the effects of natural disasters.

And yet, they often drove me crazy.

No matter how many times I’d tell some of them, they would still forget to let me know when they needed help with communications—a press release, poster, graphics, website change or whatever.

More than once someone would rush in apologetically to say they meant to let me know sooner, but they need it tomorrow. Could we bail them out?

(Sometimes they never told us at all; we’d find out about it after the program was launched, sometimes through the media.)

Some of my communications staff became really annoyed and aggravated by their repeated shortcomings. But it never got me down.

The secret? I learned to think of my program colleagues as toddlers.

That sounds disrespectful. I don’t mean it to be.

What I mean is like toddlers, my program colleagues couldn't help themselves. 

They promise to let you know in plenty of time about their communication needs, but they just can't remember.

Like toddlers, they were self-centred.

Not in a bad way; their world simply revolved around the important task occupying their attention. It's was hard for them to think about other things, like communications and fundraising.

Like toddlers, they lived in the moment.

They couldn't help it; they were so busy sometimes they could barely breathe.

Like toddlers, they weren't malicious.

They didn't intend to make my life miserable. Stuff just happened. Time got away on them. Plus, they are really, really sorry.

By thinking of them as toddlers, I could avoid becoming angry and frustrated.

It provided a calming effect: They really couldn't help themselves! That’s just the way toddlers are.

I’m not knocking people who work in other departments at non-profits. They do amazing things in their areas of specialization. I was in awe of their abilities.

But they weren't trained to think like communicators or fundraisers. That wasn't their skill or interest.

And it didn't apply to everyone. Some followed guidelines about timelines and deadlines scrupulously.

They did everything correctly when it came to getting the support they needed from communications and fundraising staff.

Those people were special, angels sent from above, and we did everything on heaven and earth to assist them—even if they occasionally forgot.

But the others? Toddlers. Cute as a button sometimes, but still prone to disappoint us.

So the next time a colleague forgets to give you enough lead time for a press release; or fails to invite you in early for conversations about a new program or project so you can set up a good communications and marketing plan; or applies for a large grant that requires matching funding but forgets to tell you so you can budget and plan for it; don’t think of them as fully functioning adults.

Smile, and think of them as toddlers.

From what I can tell, it’s the only way to have a long career in communications, marketing and fundraising.